Sandwich Mechanics: Fire the Cannons! Sink this Bread-ship!

My method for buying new bread is usually to look at whatever's on sale at the grocery store, because I'm a cheapskate. Usually there is at least one Oroweat bread on sale (and I don't mean BOGO, because what am I going to do with all that bread before it expires??), but last time not a single Oroweat bread was, so I had to explore a little farther.

I stumbled upon this Franz bread, Cannon Beach Milk and Honey. I don't normally buy Franz because I don't tend to like them as much as Oroweat, but like I said, desperate times... It said "Milk and Honey" on it, which is basically enough to get me to buy anything. "Peppercorn" and "plum" are likewise culinary triggers for me. I'm so easily played.

I got played big time. The bottom line is this bread is terrible. I saw a Franz delivery truck this morning that displayed this bread and a couple others on the side, and immediately got a little mad. Of all the nerve, trying to foist this inferior product off on us with delicious sounding words.

Deep breaths...

This bread is soft to the point of instability. I guess that kind of comes with the territory when you're talking about white breads, but it still seemed weak. This ended up being a huge problem, as it started getting soggy within minutes of constructing the sandwich. That's simply unacceptable. I imagine it would likewise fail as a soup vehicle, probably breaking apart on the way to your mouth mere seconds after dipping.

Each slice of bread also seemed almost... underbaked? A little spot next to the curl on each side was hard, doughy, and undercooked, as though it weren't properly baked. I haven't seen this before, and I don't know what it means. I guess it didn't taste noticeably worse, but it was disconcerting.

Finally, let's come to the much touted Milk and Honey. I have just one thing to say: where is it? I couldn't detect even a hint of it. A disappointment on top of mediocrity. It tasted like normal, bland white bread.

Don't bother with this one. Skip it and get something stronger, more interesting, or better tasting. There are plenty of choices out there. Cannon Beach? Hmph. Deserves to be shelled.


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